Practice Self-Disclosure

Celebrate our last day of listening more and talking less month long goal.

Challenge day 31: Be open and honest today in my observations, thoughts, feelings and needs.

 

Bible verse: 2 Timothy 3:16

Questions to ask myself:1. Do I use the Bible to help me teach, correct, reprove, and train in Righteousness? 2.Do I present myself in a transparent way, where others see me as completely honest and truthful. 3. Am I able to share my observations in a way that doesn’t condemn or make others feel insecure? 4. Can I share my thoughts in a positive way that is encouraging to all those listening?

Goals for today:1. I don’t want to just be deep and meaningful- As important as it is to share  deep and meaningful things I can also share self-disclosure by sharing what kind of music I like and what kinds of food and books I like. This can also be a form a self-disclosure that helps build relationships. 2. Be effective as it sometimes is important to share deep dark secrets, sometimes it is inappropriate. I need to know the balance and timing of my conversations. 3.Being Responsive-people want to be understood not just heard so as others are self-disclosing to me I want to make sure I understand them not just hear them.

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Here is my thank you note for going through this month with me. I appreciate your hard work and encouragement along the way. I hope this series on Listening more and talking less has been as helpful to you as it has been for me.

 

If you loved the monthly challenge of listening more and talking less then I hope you will love next month’s challenge it is Planning Less and Doing more…….

Hold Confident Open Body Language

Welcome to Day 30 of Talking Less and Listening More!!!! I can’t believe we only have 2 days left. It has been an amazing month of learning how to listen more and Talk less.

Today as we focus on our communication skills I want to work on Holding a confident open body language.

Challenge day 30: Today I want to show confidence without fidgeting around. A confident person is able to stand still with out having “Happy Feet” that are tapping constantly.  A confident person doesn’t feel the need to rush. They are unhurried. As I am speaking today I want to speak at a steady pace not rushing through the discussion. I also want to be uncovered a confident person doesn’t feel the need to cover up their body with their hands and arms, instead they are open showing a relaxed body language.

Bible verse: I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME. PHILIPPIANS 4:13

Questions to ask myself: 1. Do I believe that with God’s strength I can communicate in a confident way? 2. Do I understand that I don’t have to have a spirit of fear, but instead I can have a spirit of power, love, and self-control? 3. Am I throwing away the confidence that God has given me? Am I able to endure all things that Christ gives me to endure?4. Am I strong and courageous or am I frightened and dismayed? Do I know that God is with me wherever I go?

Goals for today: 1. Today I want to balance my feet evenly, with feet planted hip width apart. When weight is on one leg it shows readiness to move. When I am balanced, I am firmly planted indicating intent to stay and no fear of an attack. 2. Slow my speech down. We all tend to think fast which in turn speeds up the speed of our speech. Today I want to slow down my speech so people can understand me, and so that I do not seem to be full of anxiety. 3. Don’t be defensive and close off my body, instead I want to be confident exposing vulnerable parts of my body and staying relaxed.

Don’t interrupt or change the subject

Connect with me:

I find myself interrupting people at times

I find myself changing the subject when I don’t want to deal with something

I find myself rushing a conversation because I am busy with something else

I find myself wishing at times that certain conversations were not taking place and I avoid those conversations

This past month has been wonderful and difficult as well. Sometimes it is very easy to be in a conversation with people and other times it can be very difficult.

Challenge for today: I want to listen to others completely without jumping into the conversation. If a subject is difficult don’t change the subject to avoid dealing with something. Also don’t change the subject because I am bored with what the other person is saying and would rather talk about myself.

Bible verse:

He that answers a matter

before he hears it, it is

folly and shame to him.

 

Questions to ask myself: 1. Am I listening fully? 2. Am I rushing to a conclusion before hearing the matter? 3. Am I changing the subject that is being discussed because I feel uncomfortable? 4. Am I changing the subject because I am bored?

Goals for today: 1. Listen fully to others. 2. Stop coming to conclusions before knowing all the facts 3. Stop changing subjects

Talk Less Listen More

Still time to join in our goal for the month. You can go back and review all of this month’s long challenge.Today is just a catch up day. All month we have been working on ways to remind ourselves to Talk Less and Listen More.

Talk

LESS

And

Listen

MORE

 

Challenge day 27: Reflect on how this month has gone.

Bible: 2 kings 8:4

Questions to ask myself: 1.Do I ask other people’s opinions? 2. Do I accept other people’s opinions? 3. Do I listen to people when they are talking to me? 4. Am I improving on my skill to listening more and talking less?

Goals: 1. Take time and review this month’s goals. 2. Find 1 goal that was particularly positive for you and share that moment by scrolling down the page and leaving it in the Leave a Reply section. 3. Share 1 goal that you are still struggling with so that we can pray together about it as a group.

Agree Heartily Disagree Softly

Welcome to the 26th day of Listening more and Talking Less!!

Today I am sharing with you my thoughts on how to agree and disagree in a positive way.

Day 26 Challenge: I want to be able to agree heartily with others when I like what they are saying, and when I am not in favor of what they are saying I want to be able to disagree softly.

Bible verses: Matthew 18:19-20 “Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

Live in harmony with each other. Let there be no divisions in the church. Rather, be of one mind, united in thought and purpose. 1 Corinthians 1:10

Questions to ask myself: 1. If I am feeling the need for something do I pray with others who feel the same way asking the Father in Heaven? 2. Am I living in harmony with others? 3. When I disagree with someone do I cause a division between them and me? 4. Do I show others when I agree with them?

Goals for today: 1. Create a bond with someone by agreeing with them. (don’t randomly agree but if I do agree make sure the other person knows it) 2. It is not wrong to be in disagreements with others but if I am make sure that I disagree in a soft loving approach. 3. Ask questions of the person I disagree with so that they can share their points.

Say the Other Person’s Name

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Names are something we truly own, it is something that is given to us that shows we are unique. It is a way to identify who we are and it is something that we will keep with us for our entire life. This leads me to challenge number 25

Challenge day 25: Today I want to make it a point to use the person’s name that I am talking to.

Bible passage: A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold. Proverbs 22:1

 

Questions to ask myself: Do I call people by their name? 2. Do I take time to notice the names of the people that are serving me? Do I take the opportunity to thank those people by name? 3. Do I make a good name for myself? 4. Who can I mention by name today in an enouraging way?

Goals for today: 1. Call people by their names today in order to show they that they are noticed and you appreciate them.  2. If out in a public place look for the name tags of those who are serving you and remember to thank them by name of course. 3. Care enough about people to respect them enough to use their proper title… Sir. Mam Mr. Mrs. etc.

Use the Magic Words (Tell Me)

I remember when my children were little and they would draw a picture and come and show me proudly their beautiful masterpiece. I never wanted any of them to feel like their drawing wasn’t special or important to me but I was also at times completely clueless as to what it was I was looking at. In order to protect their feelings and to help them continue to work on their artistic abilities I would say the magic words…. (Tell me) Tell me about your picture. Who did you draw here. Where are you playing in the picture. The minute I said Tell me they would look up at me beaming with such pride as they told me all about their classic work of art.

Sometimes all a person needs is to have someone encourage them to tell you all about it. When they see that you are interested in what they want to share they will often announce their topic and openly share with you whatever is on their mind.

Today we are working on goal number 24: I want to encourage people who may not feel comfortable sharing to tell me what exactly they are feeling and thinking about. I want to create an atmosphere that allows the potential talker to be able to open up and share.

Bible passage

Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.

Hebrews 13:16 NSRV

 

Questions to ask myself: 1. Do I encourage people to share their thoughts? 2. Do I seek out information from people or do I just blow people off? 3. do I provide a safe atmosphere for people to open up to me? 4. Am I a trustworthy person that people can confidently share their opinions with out feeling judged?

Goals for today: 1. stop pretending to be confident or stuffing down negative emotions to avoid conflict instead be vulnerable and authentic to others so that they can be the same with me. 2. Share my feelings without making the person feel responsible- I want to share my feelings not make people be on the defensive. For example if I am sad about something I should say “I am really sad right now.” rather than saying “I think you spend too much time at work.” The difference is one way is opening the person up for a conversation the other way is making the person defensive which could lead to an argument. (This is just an example not an expression of my true feelings) 3. Connect with the other person’s heart. Instead of just sharing a list of things you did during the day. Share with the person what you felt during the day. What made you feel sad and what helped you feel better. Ask questions of the other person tell me what you think about how I felt. Tell me what you would have done differently if you were in my situation. Tell me who…. Tell me what…. Tell me where… Tell me when….Tell me why…. Tell me how…..

Show a Real Interest

Day 23: Show a real intrest

It is very easy to alienate people. I know that seems like a strange statement, but it is very true. When we don’t show true interest in what someone is saying in essence we are just pushing them away as if they are not really important.

 

Challenge day 23: Today I want to work at making sure that the people that are talking to me know that I am interested in both them and whatever it is that they are talking about. I want people to feel accepted.

 

Bible verse: Romans 15:7

Questions to ask:1.Do I make people feel welcomed? 2.Am I ready in season and out of season to be able to share with others the Good News of Christ? 3. Do I push people away because I am not showing interest in what they are talking about? Am I greeting people and making them feel as they belong? 4. Am I showing a compassionate heart to what the person is saying? Am I being kind, humble, meek and patient while the person is speaking? Am I bearing with people and forgiving them? Am I above all loving the person that is in front of me speaking which allows them to feel perfect harmony?

Goals for today: 1. Make my greeting stand out- when I meet someone for the first time or if I am welcoming someone that I already know. I want to make them feel as if they are the most important person on this earth. I want to look them in the eyes with warmth and offer a friendly greeting, and if appropriate give them a handshake or a hug. 2.Make it a point to use the person’s name. 3.Listen with interest- Sincerely care about what the person is saying. Don’t just listen today, instead listen like you care.

 

 

 

 

Use the Best Words

Day 22: Use the Best Words

So often we feel that our words are inadequate and the enemy tries to convince us that anything we say can’t be of any value. However the truth is that our words do carry a lot of weight. We can make a difference in people’s lives just by the words that we say.

If we are unsure of what words to say you could always start with the words I care. Sometimes just knowing that people genuinely care about us makes the situation so much easier to handle.

Challenge day 21: My words have the power to discourage or encourage and my goal today is to be a joy spreader through the choice of positive and uplifting words.

Bible verse: Proverbs 18:21

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Questions to ask: 1. Are the words that I choose corrupt in anyway? Are my words building people up? Are my words fitting for the occasion? Do my words give grace to those who hear? 2. Is my heart right with God, because the words that come out of my mouth reflect where my heart is? 3. Are my words like a thrashing sword or do they bring healing to people? 4. Do I realize that one day I will have to give account for every careless word I say?

Goals for today: 1. To speak graciously to all those around me. 2. To use words that the listener would understand 3. To put away anger from my mouth. To not let the heat of the emotion let the words of my mouth run rampart, instead to choose the best words possible to explain how I feel without attacking them.

 

Offer Interesting Insights

Insight-The ability to understand people and situations in a very clear way.

Welcome to day 21 of our listening more and talking less challenge. Today we are going to focus on insight.

Challenge day 21: I am going to work hard at listening closely enough to those that speak to me so that I can understand what the people are saying and what the situation is clearly enough. In doing this then maybe I can offer some interesting insights to their particular situation.

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I believe that the Key to Good Communication is to be able to listen to people carefully enough and then to be able to offer them some interesting insight.

Bible verse: 2 Timothy 2:7

The Lord promises to give us understanding in everything.

Questions to ask: 1. Do I pray and ask for understanding from the Lord about every situation and discussion I am listening to? 2. Do I trust that the Lord is capable of giving me the wisdom to speak truth into people’s lives? 3. Am I aware that the Holy Spirit and Angels exist and they remind me what is right? 4. Do I have an open relationship with the Lord and speak with him through prayer on a daily basis, allowing Him to speak to me?  Do I listen to His voice?

Goals for today: 1.Seek God’s understanding today when presented with different situations. 2.Work on my observation skills. While people are talking to me observe their body language and listen to clues of what they are really feeling and saying. 3. Take time to meditate over the situation, don’t feel as if I have to rush to come to some answer, sometimes waiting is the answer. However I want to take time to pray with the individual and seek God’s insight into the situation.